The Lateralization of Language

In the readings I have read so far, it is said that the Language is lateralized or localized in the left hemisphere of the brain. The left hemisphere consist of 3 areas where it is thought that the language is. These 3 areas are: Broca’s area “(the motor speech area)” as it is said in Chapter 12, the Wernickes’s area, which is responsible for the speech comprehension and other linguistic functions and the supplemental motor area. Damages to these sites in the left cerebral hemisphere caused aphasia. If the damage occurred in the same sites in the right hemisphere the linguistic capacities were intact. Today’s scientists agree with this left lateralization of the language and say that the left hemisphere is vital for speech and language. Although not every person’s brain is oriented this way. Some person might have the language capacities lateralized somewhere else. Seventy percent of people with left brain damage get aphasia whether only one percent of people get aphasia if they have right brain damage. With new medical technology, like scanning with different machines as for example: MRI,PET…, is proven that the science achieved to have information of the brain without having to operate the patient or making an autopsy, with these scanning machines scientist were able to locate the brain’s activity when the patient was asked to perform an action. This way the can confirm once again that most of the language capacities in humans are lateralized in the left hemisphere in the brain. And concluding, the following are some examples of the capacities that humans have lateralized on both hemispheres of the brain:

Left hemisphere: Speech, writing, temporal- order judgments, language, reading, associative thoughts, calculations, analytic processing and right visual field.

Right hemisphere: Holistic processing, stereognosis, nonverbal environmental sounds, visuospatial skills, nonverbal ideation, recognition and memory of melodies and left visual field.

How to choose a book?

I learned in class that teachers must know how to properly choose a book to use in the classroom with the students. This is important because depending on this right selection, or wrong, that the teacher makes is how this method going to result or not, in the teacher’s expectation towards the student’s learning. It was said that a book maybe used in different ways at different grade levels. It was also said that the book that the teacher selects should have some characteristics such as: be fresh and to have a challenging vocabulary, the book should have creative illustrations, not the ones that we or kids are used to as comics or cartoons. The book should also have a simple structure and be full of meaningful topic. Another characteristic that it should have is to interest the students to provoke through the story titles.

In the other way they’re considerations that the teacher must make when choosing a book and those are: the student’s culture, because if you are reading something that it has no connection with what the student has lived or is living, or what the student knows, well then the student might not be interested in it because is not something that she/he could understand or relate to their life.

Another consideration to make is the child’s developmental stage, because teachers should read a book or assign to read a book that is right for the student age or capability of understanding. The context of the reading is also a very important fact to consider, and I think is the most important one because not everything that is written can be read by kids, even some books or stories that are supposed to be for children and they are really not adequate for them. And to conclude the teacher, of course, needs also to select a book that is related to the theme that he/she is teaching, with the structure and the use of language, so he/ she can achieve her/his purpose, objectives and those from the curriculum, as it was said in class. There is more consideration to be noticed but here I mentioned the ones that I think were the most important.

Learning English in Puerto Rico

I have had many experiences learning English in Puerto Rico. I chose three factors that I thought were really important and that influenced my learning of English. These three are: the use of my prior knowledge of English, the teachers and the parents. All of these three factors were really important to me, but the most important one was the parents.

Because I was born in the USA I had a base of the English language, although I used to speak Spanish more often. I think that the fact of having a prior knowledge of the English language helped me acquire a stronger knowledge and develop my skills at school. Another factor that helped me to learn better English were my teachers.

My English teachers used to motivate me to develop my English skills more than they did with other students. I think they did this because they knew that I understood the class more than others. Believe it or not almost all of the vocabulary I have learned, I learned it from my English teachers at school. Even though the English teachers that I had didn’t emphasize the correct pronunciation, I did learn lots of vocabulary words and to speak and write correctly (syntax and grammar). This helped me to communicate with others English speaking people. Thanks to my parents I also learned how to pronounce correctly the English language.

My parents were the ones who helped me learn how to pronounce well in English and also taught me some English vocabulary. I think that the parents are the most important one, because even though teachers try to motivate students at school, learning should begin at home. My parents helped me not only with my studies and my homework, but they also used to practice speaking English a lot at home. This is the reason why I began to love English; this is a great motivation and an example for kids, when the parents show something they want their children to learn. If the parents don’t do so, or don’t motivate the students to have a positive attitude towards English, they will probably not be as interested in English as they should be. This could also happen even if the teacher is a great one which motivates students, because it would be the student’s problem and not the teacher’s. So a necessary factor when learning is the parental involvement in the students learning process.

To conclude, all these factors are important in the English Learning process and I hope that I could keep on counting on these three factors to improve even more my English learning every day.

The Kind of Teacher I want to be.

I am studying to become a teacher. Because I am almost finishing my bachelor, I have started to think seriously about what kind of teacher I want to be. As I think about this, five words came into my mind. Those five words are: passion, professional, flexible, style and humor. Although all of these five are very important I consider that having passion is the most important of all.

It doesn’t matter what my job is, if I’m not passionate about it I would not be able to do a great job. I know I have to be passionate about being a teacher, because this is not an easy job, and if I’m not passionate about it, well I can say now that this job then isn’t for me. I am really passionate about being a teacher and I just can’t wait to start working at this. I believe that if I’m not passionate about this job, I couldn’t get to be all of the other 4 characteristics that I mentioned before. Other thing about being a teacher is to always be a professional.

As I said before this job is not as easy as many people might think it is, and that’s why I, teacher to be, need to be professional at all circumstances. At school I’m going to confront many situations, not only with the students, but also with their parents, my colleagues and the community. I know that I will not only be a teacher, the one who is in charge of those students’ education, but that I am also a human being and I have to respect others and care for others’ needs. I will not only teach and care for my students, but also I will collaborate in all I can. This is why I have to be flexible too.

As a teacher, I should be flexible when teaching and helping others. A teacher must be flexible when teaching, and must not be rigid or to stick always to their agenda. This is because the teacher’s plan not always has the positive results that he/she wanted it to have, and it should be rearranged to a better one which the students can learn. I also need to have in mind that not all students will learn at the same rhythm, and that I should take the time to teach to those students that learn slower. The way that a teacher gives the class, arrange the classroom, and rearrange his/her teaching methods is the teacher’s style.

The teacher style is very important in the teaching/learning process because sometimes the student’s learning will depend on how stylish the teacher is when she/he is teaching. It is obvious that the students will be attending more to a teacher who is active, fun, and the one who changes constantly the activities in the classroom in order to gain their attention. I can’t also forget that as a teacher I have to also have at least a little of humor to add to my class to make it a fun experience, not only to the students but for myself.

I have to admit that humor is not one of my strong skills at working. Of all characteristic I mentioned before of what I want to be when I become a teacher, this is the one that I need to work on the most. I have always being serious about all jobs that I had, but teaching is a job where kids are involved and I need to have sense of humor, as a teacher to be. I think that in this way the teaching/learning experience with humor will be a gratificant one for both the students and myself. Little things like these are the ones that makes me feel complete because I will not only be satisfied professionally about doing right my job, but with this I will also be satisfied in a personal level, because I have to admit that not only the students needs and learns from a teacher, but the teacher also learns from the students and needs of others too.

Finally, I want to have all of these characteristics when I become a teacher. I’ve realized that every single one of these characteristics are very important. These characteristics will not only make of me a good teacher, but they will also make me an excellent human being.

Things I treasure

Do you have things that you treasure in your life? One of the things that we treasure is family. Another thing that we treasure is our pets. We also treasure our friends. Although we treasure our friends, the most important treasure for us is our family.

The thing that we most treasure is our family. We like to spend time with them. A special occasion to spend with our family is holidays. On holidays we like to share stories. We also like to exchange gifts on holidays. Although we like the gifts that our family gives us the best gift is to be with them. When we go out with our family we have lots of fun. We like to play some games like table and sports games. We also like to do exercises too. We like to sing, dance, go shopping, and make jokes along with them. Because they spend so much time with us in these activities we know that they care for us. It doesn’t matter how big or small our family can be, our family is always together. Our family is also loving, funny, and supportive with us. That’s why there is nothing or no one in the world that can replace them. When we get sick, our family takes care of us. When we are sad, our family listens to us. When we achieve a goal or have an important triumph, they celebrate it with us. Our family is so good to us, that even when we make mistakes, they forgive us because of their great love. We can’t imagine living our lives without our family. We are what we are because our family raised us and helped us to be what we are today. Without them we might not be what we are, or achieve what we already have. This we can also say about our friends.

Our friends are also good to us. A good thing about friends is that you can trust them. You can tell a friend things that you might not tell the family. This is because a friend can listen to you and it doesn’t matter if what you’re saying is good or bad you know they will keep it as a secret. They won’t judge you if you are wrong. If you are wrong about something, they would advice you with love. The people that stick around you when you are having a bad time are your real friends. A friend prefers to tell you the truth even if it hurts in order not to deceive you. A friend accepts you just the way you are and doesn’t demands for you to change. A friend also defends you infront of others. When you are around your friends you can be yourself and not worry about false appearances. It is very fun to be with your friends. With them you forget about your problems and have a good time. We also like to spend time with our pets.

Pets are really fun. You can consider a pet a friend too. It’s really interesting to know about pets. The most common pets are dogs, cats, fishes, hamsters, birds and farm animals. Having a pet is fun because you can choose it in different ways. They come in many sizes, colors and textures. It is true that a pet can give you great happiness, but for this you have to take great care of them. As for example; you have to clean them, feed them, play with them, take them for rides and most important, love them. Some pets, like dogs, are faithful friends to man. Fishes on the other hand are relaxing to look at. The hamsters are very fun to observe because they like to run and are very hyperactive. Birds are pretty to hear and they sing lovely songs. For all types of people, with their unique preference, there is a perfect pet.

Finally we have many things that we treasure. We realize that every single one is important. All of these treasures not only give us good things but we also have to give back what we receive in turn.

Not the best reaction

Not the best reaction!

I just came from seeing the comments posted in my blogger account. It was very curios to see that a very mature (in age) lady who lives some where in France left me a comment that said “Canta y no llores! Which in English will be to Sing instead of crying, or so… And when I came to see again the blogs that I’ve posted there I’ve realized that many of them are just sad stories or poems that have to do with love. Then I was wondering: are we youngsters making such a big deal of our lives? Are we being melodramatic trying to figure out the meaning of life? Are we just a little obsessed about happiness and love? I don’t know you tell me Sir! I also thought that sometimes very mature people are just a little unfair to us youngsters. They are said to be wise. But if they are in peace now, if they know the “secret of life”, why won’t they do us a favor and publish it somewhere where we can find! I suddenly felt this need of telling her off for what she has said. Then I said to myself “what the heck” she might think she has it all figured out. So now that she wants for me to sing, I guess, of the joys of my life, instead of “crying” my sad and apparently unimportant stories, well here is another side of my life:


Hi my French pin pal,
How is today’s life?
I hope is a little better
than the one in the paper
that I write.
Well let’s see what I can tell ya’
I live in Puerto Rico,
so it’s better living here in the warmth.
I am only 24 years,
but being married for a while.
Does 5 years are just a walk in the park?
I have being sick when I was a kid,
but now I’ve healed, thank God for that!
Oh sure yes, I forgot you are living in a licentiousness land,
so maybe its easier living that way
where all emotions you want you have.
So yes, we here believe in sleeping with just one guy.
So what happens when the one you have treats you bad?
Can’t look for another one,
That would just put me in a place that only
in Europe would find normal.
But nope, not in here, not if you don’t want to be in everyone else’s mouth!
And no, I’m not saying anything allusive to sex, but to gossip Maim!
So I just suggest for you to take a look to the blog: It’s my life.
And when you are thru with it
then tell me again
if you really want me to sing at all,
Oh yes, I have for you a song
Called: Take a little of sarcasm from me.

With all the respect you deserve,
we youngsters also deserve the respect
from the ones who have lived life at full,
who once also were fools,
who did a lot that later regretted.
So would you please just let me live it,
and feel the pain that I have.
By expressing it I just have
the most wonderful of the therapies.
I don’t live my life unhappily
24/7 as you might think.
That is thank God and the ink,
which let me release what I feel.
Now I’ll be out of here,
I need to get into another paper,
Don’t know if I’m going to write of tears,
But you know what? You don’t have to read me.

Is it mine, is it yours?

This is the song of the desperate.
These are the lyrics of love
This is my peace of mind,
These are the eyes of my soul.

This is my heart crushed in many pieces.
This is the poem I wrote.
These are the saddest verses,
that this paper is meant to hold.

This is me without you,
This is you alone.
This is the dream we’ve dreamed of.
This is the life that we own.

This is the love we couldn’t make through.
This is the tear of the young.
This is the mistake that will teach us
the lesson of being wrong.



This is the body that needs you.
These are the lips which burns
for all those missing kisses
that your lips wouldn’t return.

This is my life and my story.
This is the story of my life,
Being without you, I’m not happy
Return my happiness back.

These are my wings all cut off
This is my desire to fly,
This is my wish to wake up
And have you by my side.

This is the end of the story.
This is where the forgetfulness comes along.
This is where the names and faces change,
but the feeling remain the same, keeps going on…

Happily never after

Well, I have to do this right? Ok, here it goes…

Once upon a time, in a not so far away life, there was this not so beautiful girl who at least thought that she was happy. Her family loved her very much and cared for her, they cared so much for her that they overprotected her. So this bothered her but anyways she loved her family back. She had 2 siblings who could do whatever they wanted to. Even though she knew this, and it bothered her, she continued being a good girl. Then along came prince Charming, which wasn’t also that beautiful at all. But what the heck, he makes her smile. He also freaked her out sometimes and makes her cry, and this bothered her, but what the heck, she loved him back. So her father was a perfectionist and nothing she could do could ever please him. She hated talking to him, because a conversation always turned to a discussion. So it was until her mother decided to leave her father. So the girl decided married, what the heck, to prince Charming. So happily ever after she wanted to live, but 2 years past and prince Charming weren’t treating her so well. This bothered her but she decided to keep on trying loving him. She went out to work, leaving her goals behind, so she could provide for the family. Yes the family where prince Charming without a job belonged. Believe it or not this didn’t’ bothered her, she did it with great joy because of her love. But problems kept on and she was in work where another prince Charming came, a good person and good looking one although he already had his princess. So this prince Charming #2 started to look for this girl, and this bothered her, but still she wouldn’t reject his friendship. He kept on and kept on trying to be with her, but what the heck she lost her job and so did him. She came to the place where she was meant to be in, trying once again to achieve her goals. Prince Charming #1 came it her, all along. Although it was very hard for him to make this choice, it was really hard for her to convince him so, and this bothered her, but she convinced him and he came along. So more years has passed by and the ugly duckling that she was, has transformed to a pretty goose, but happiness where is at? More princes Charming had came along, all being rejected by the pretty goose, but deep inside her soul she had felt a loss, maybe because she isn’t that happy at all, maybe is it that she learned that without happiness life is not worthy. Maybe happiness is just a big lie that we all want to believe, that we all want to reach. So pretty goose, feeling ugly inside had to realize not to look for happiness in others. She rather be a happy ugly duckling than a sad beautiful goose. She decided that the meaning of life is not what others can give back to her, or what she wishes to give, but is what she does for herself what matters. If her happiness will depend on someone else’s intervention, then she would never be happy, not at all. So from now on this beautiful goose, feeling ugly inside, will make this happily never after a hell of a good life.

Tan mío como tan tuya.... nada!

El sentimiento aparece,
crece intenso, quema el fuego,
se confunden las ganas con el deseo.
Río..., inevitable, creo, siento, veo...

Toca de lejos mis sentimientos;
el amor se entrelaza y el deseo
se apodera de mi mente.
No es real, pero no quiero
salir de ti..., aun es inminente.
Siguen las palabras en juego,
hablas y te leo, desesperadamente.

Pero a donde fueron tus sentimientos?,
cerrados en el pecho o en mi vientre?
El fuego se apaga, se prende.
Las heridas del fuego duelen...
Alguna vez te dolió perderme?
Será una estupidez acaso creerte?

El amor que has profesado en tenerme,
intenso, en un momento se va desvaneciendo.
Seré yo la única persistente?

No hay ganadores en este juego
que tenemos de frente...
la pasión y las ganas de alguna vez
hoy son lágrimas, angustia...
que dolor quererte!

La angustia de (no) tenerte

Y si es mio? Ahora no!
Aquello que fue se lo llevó,
y ahora el sin mí está.
El sentimiento desgarrado yá,
pero aún aparece en días,
esos días con ganas de amar.

El dolor se confunde con la pasión,
de lo que quizo ser pero no alcanzó.
El lamento de (no) tenerte no es grato.
Aún canto sueños de los mil años
que tú y yo pasaríamos juntos,
de las alegrías y también de los frutos
que el amor hubiese dado.
Aún deseo estar a tu lado,
aunque oscuro el futuro se presenta.

La angustia tonta y la pereza,
de querer seguir soñando,
es lo que me está evitando
ser feliz de una vez por todas.

Dar una voz en alto y la boca
no seguir jamas callando,
y por eso mientras tanto
no se me ocurre que hacer
con esta angustia...

Mi secreto y esta furia,
me seguirán acompañando.
Perdóname pero tu fulano
resultaste un tremendo idiota,
por no extender tus manos
y tomar esta furia loca.

Un momento de coraje... que no termina...

Y si alguna vez te quise,
Hoy ya no te quiero querer!

Resultaste tremendo jugador.
A que juegas?, Yo ya no!
Me harté ya de tu juego.

Resultaste tremendo actor…
Por que imitas que "me quieres"?
Si en las malas tuviese suerte
Si tu cara hipócrita se asomara!

Resultaste tremendo idiota…
Por qué no entiendes?,
Necesitas que te enseñe?

El hombre no nace,
Se hace!
Y la verdad es que
Has fracasado en la
Escuela de la vida…

Has desatado un mar furioso
Que no puedes controlar!

Si tan solo pudiera convertir este coraje
En valentía, hoy ya no estarías en mi vida.

Y por mucho que sufriere
Otro amor encontraría,
Quien apaciguase este dolor,
Y la furia del corazón
En pasión convertiría.

Te recuerdo

Te recuerdo tan bien,
como brillabas
la noche que la luz de tus ojos
el cielo iluminaba.

Te recuerdo tan bien,
como hablabas
sin decir absolutamente nada
y tu silencio ensordecedor
que en mi mente penetraba
mi corazón quebrantaba.

Te recuerdo tan bien,
como te dibujabas
en un espacio vacío
dentro de los sueños
de dioses antiguos
que por años
la tierra han abandonado.

Te recuerdo tan bien,
como si siempre
nos hubiéramos conocido.
Solo sabrán Dios y la luna
si antes algo hemos sido,
una sola pieza
la que completa el rompecabezas
del universo que nunca para.

Te recuerdo tan bien,
que cuando te pienso
creo que nada mas existe.
Solo a ti veo.
Se mío no solo un recuerdo...

Desición

Meses de confusión, …
no que va, ….
Años.

En la espera del no se que,
se turbaba mi corazón.
Vino, se fue, volvió.
En tanto que he esperado,
la respuesta yace a mi lado.
En el latir de la pasión.

No sé por que no lo había entendido.
El corazón seguía herido
por no optar por el olvido,
la queja que no paraba,
ayer era desesperada,
hoy solo es cansancio.
Agota la pasión que no se sacia.

Pero en el futuro hay esperanza,
en las manos pequeñas de un amor nuevo.
Entonces el fruto del que es verdadero
dará risas, también llanto.
No te preocupes por mi entre tanto,
sabes que estaré bien.

Tampoco por ti me lastimare.
El adiós viene antes del hola,
para que cuando furiosa llegue la ola
no nos arrastre con la marea.
Y aunque no se que en tu vida quieras,
ya sé que quiero para la mía,
aquellas manos pequeñitas
y la dicha de amar y ser amada.

El vals no podrá ser mañana,
Amigo, déjalo para la otra vida,
Serás feliz algún día,
De una cosa estoy segura,
Que ni los astros ni las estrellas
dirán que habrá en la mía.
Ni la corriente me llevará…

Tomo ahora la iniciativa,
de sentir intensamente
no sólo con el corazón o la mente
sino también con el alma entera.

Escucho el coraje que grita adentro, afuera,
y la frustración ahogada se desboca
exigiéndome que ahora
no me olvide nunca más de esto.
Vida es una no la pierdas!

Déjate amar… lo merezco!

El amor se va a acabar

El amor se va a acabar…
En algún momento quisiste algo bueno y pensaste en mí.
Ya no quieres ese compromiso, aquel al que llaman amor.
Alguna vez muy adentro de ti pensaste y planificaste ser feliz.
Para ti hoy la felicidad significa algo muy diferente.
Hoy buscas a CUALQUIERA que se te tope de frente.
Pasando así los días y viviendo "el momento".
No haciendo el amor, teniendo solo sexo.
¿Y que es la felicidad?
¿Ganar un juego de popularidad?
¿Acaso es a todas poder engañar?
¿O será saciar tu ego machista, con tu fama de oportunista
para tus complejos eliminar?
¿De cuándo acá cambie de ser un amor apasionado
para convertirme tan sólo en una muñeca de trapo?
Cambias a fotos grises los recuerdos blancos,
y el amor puro por aventuras que nada dejaran.
Y ¿qué importa si te sé besar, si me quieres tocar?
¿Qué importa que mi cuerpo ansíes desnudar
si no me quieres amar?
Despechado por amores incompletos,
sinsabores encerrados en tu pecho,
han hecho de ti por completo
un ser amargado y ruin,
que solo quiere vivir
al merced de la lujuria.
Vivir así es una locura
pensar que te proteges dentro de un caparazón,
por que si es verdad que allí no te pueden hacer daño
tampoco podrá entra nunca el amor.
Por eso es que hoy te escribo a ti una carta más
esperando que sea la última
por que como tú dices para amar a una persona
tan sólo hay una oportunidad única.

Cancion dedicada que no recuerdo

Canción de amor, de lujuria,
de pasión…con inocencia, sin tenerla
disfraces y máscaras del amor.
Los sentimientos son tan raros,
tan intensos, tan puros,
tan erróneos.
Desearte es un pecado.
Mi sentir es sincero,
tan confuso y a la vez
tan claro.
Qué haré si no te tengo?
Te quiero y te extrano.
Tengo miedo de tenerte.
El futuro es incierto,
doloroso es el pasado.
Corazones entrelazados
entre mares y continentes,
pensamientos en mi mente
y hasta sonarte he tenido.
No te escapas de mí
ésta es mi suerte,
tenerte como un fantasma
que me da ternura
y me trae noches de pasión
… cuando más lo necesite,
cuando vacía me sentí
tus palabras fueron caricias para mí.
Cerraba los ojos y te sentía,
oía tu voz ronca que me decía
que me querías.
En unos meses la soledad
cerrará mis ojos,
cerrará mi boca.
El tiempo irá avanzando
y olvidaré aquella canción
que un día me dedicaste.
Se cerrará la puerta del amor
que algun día abriste.
Desolado el corazón andará muy triste,
por que algun día te anheló,
te perdió sin tenerte primero.
Tenerte último no puedo,
los corazones se tornan rebeldes.
Amor es mas que pasión,
es mas que deseo.
La soledad se avecina
a pesar de la companía
angustiante que poseo.
El futuro es incierto,
canciones de amor que vienen y van,
y la triste soledad
es testigo de mi sueno,
No eres tú sino el fuego,
los nombres con el tiempo cambian,
las lágrimas que se derraman
pasan a ser parte del mar.
Tocándolo sólo podrás
tener algo de mí
desde mucho mas allá…

Sola

SOLA

Calor, es la sensacion

cuando abre la flor.

Exhalo un aliento frio,

lento, lleno de pasion.

Electricidad corre,

da un sentir de bienestar

y tambien de deseperacion.

Sed de un roce,

el toque de la tela

va despertando latidos del corazon.

Movimientos suaves,

acalorados.

Contracciones.

Danzando con un va y ven,

presionando asi la llave que abre la sonrisa.

Emito un quejido,

liberando la fuente de la felicidad

por que recorde tu nombre...

Just someone to love me

Just someone to love me

Feeling so lonely… although I am not.
Trying to figure out why I'm always making the same mistake.
I want what I don't have; I have what I don't want.
All of this time I just was hoping for someone to love me.
I have so much inside to give, yet I feel so empty.
I'm still wondering why I have all these forbidden emotions.
Sometime, someday, somehow all this will have to end, before it finishes me.
I've being like this for such a long time, now it's hard to change it to the way it was.
I'm not myself anymore. I'm not that little girl. Innocence has gone away.
Luxury, passion, intelligence, suffer, experience and love, all of these had changed me to who I am now.
Loosing myself in time, can't get straight the thoughts in my mind,
Wishing for just to forget all that had happened, what love tasted like,
the passion of the look in your eyes, while you were watching me.
I seek you even in my dreams.
I try harder 'til I get tired,
There's no more tears left in me.
My face banishing from your memories
Keeps on living as your shadow,
'til one good day is erased completely
for your sake, not for mine.
Because all I've ever wanted to find
was just someone to love me.

You are not alone in this.


I am sorry about what have had happen.
I wish I could make it right.
I don’t like to see your heart broken
and all fallen apart.
I don’t feel pity for you,
You disserve much more from me than that.
Maybe you disserve my love,
my body,
my soul,
my mind.
Maybe you have it, sometimes I just can’t tell.
You are my muse,
You are my doubt,
You are so many other things
that I just can’t describe.
If you are wondering
Who am I writing this to?
If it is you?
Yes, you are!
I don’t expect from you
any more explanations.
I will just let it be as it is,
with you loving me,
and hating me,
wanting for everything to be ok.
Time will pass by
and our wounds will have to heal.
I just wish I could take all the pain away
from me,
from you.
I am here if you want to seek for me.
Just extend your arm
and I WILL BE HERE.
I wish the same you do,
I suffer the same as you.
I write because of you,
And as you I just wish…

It’s really funny how things work out… or don’t.

It’s really funny how things work out… or don’t.


It's really funny (not so much) how things work out… or don't. You are standing there, trying to make one of the most important decisions in your life, hoping for everything to go fine, (no mattering which decision you take). But how to know, I don't have a time machine to go and see what awaits for me. I just hate this position when I have to wonder what if… If I have done this instead of that, if what I have decided will turn just ok, maybe not now, maybe it will later. But now I feel safe, although a little confused. It's safe good? It's scary bad? Are feelings wrong? Am I guilty of this? It doesn't matter what I choose because I'll always turn inside myself and search for that damn question inside my head… what if I have done it the other way around? Would it have worked? Is it known but not so good bad? Is it not so known but good really good? If I don't really know, how to know if it is really good at all? Did I have to learn more about it? Did I have to search independently for happiness? Is it what I'm doing making me feel incomplete? Would I feel incomplete if I don't have what I do have now? Is it that empty house still an option for me? Can money really buy what I want? Am I ever going to be in peace with myself? Do I still have that opportunity? Have you ever really loved me at all? If yes how intensively? Do I love you? Or is it just that I want us to be? Am I fighting against my will? Do I really want what you can give? Can you really give what I want? Am I making sense to you at all? Do you have questions to ask me? Are doubts hurting you as they are to me? Are we ever going to stop feeling like this? Please tell me, are you pretending that everything its ok? Are you crying for me? Do you want me? Can I have you? Do you believe in me? Are you really good to me? Have you hate me for who I am, for what I've done? Are you angry for what we haven't been? Can we go back in time and stop it where our story begun? Can you give me the flower you never give? Did I take your breath away? How far would you have gotten for me? Why haven't you kissed me? Why haven't I kissed you? Why I can't forget you? Why you still ignore me? Why you were always hiding? How can you forgive me? How can we deny it? Why I can't regret it? Why you got consumed by it? How is that we got tired? Why can't we go forward? When these entire questions will end? When are you going to talk to me? How can you still like be this? How can I be so stupid to keep on persevering when I don't know what is going to happen? Are these question are going to keep on growing in length? Am I ever going to stop questioning you and myself? When are you coming back? Can we have some coffee? Can we meet? Maybe we will, maybe not, maybe some nice trick of the gods will get us together. If it is so they might also be playing this crazy game of separating us. But I will now stop time, here in my head, although time will go on and just time will tell if I see you again. PAUSE. STOP.


HI AGAIN. It's funny how things work out or don't.

It's my life

OK. Right here, right now, this moment is so odd to me. I'm going to stop doing what I do. I'm going to stop looking for a clue. I have so many things in my mind; I have so many feelings rounding inside. I'm going to forget who I was once. I finally surrender, I'm going to let go… I'm just myself and no one else's to own. From now on I will think of me first, from now on I'll get to do what pleases me the most. From now on I choose to live being hard and cold as would a bitch, because finally I decided to live happily.

I got tired of loosing myself. I got tired of pleasing everyone else…. But me.
I will keep on the path I choose, there's so much more for me to do.
Let me be and back the fuck off. Let me go to explore the world.
Let me for once search for myself, I want to stop feeling like hell,
'cause so much feelings can drive you nuts, give me my space, leave me alone.

I just don't care more for what you might think; let's not pretend that you like me.
I wouldn't even try to please you more, because it doesn't matter how hard I try I'll never be good enough for you. So you know what? I would not even care to get mad at you at all, because it is a waste of time, of emotion and thoughts.
Well I don't care what you want from me, I couldn't care less of what you want me to be. I just am and I WON'T change for you.

I will stop to live in a fantasy. I will no longer be awake and dream. I will leave the fairy tales where they belong, in the bad written version of movies and books. I will stop wishing the happily ever after, and come back to Earth. I hate the time when you make me believe that life was easy and fair, when all I have gotten from you was a living hell.


I refuse to keep on living life like this, when the most that I get are some hypocrites' faces. I will share my life with people that are real. Those are the ones who willingly give their selves, the ones you can feel that you are peaceful and safe with. There's nothing else to tell you, I think I said it all, you might have understand the meanings of my words.

So I'll have no regrets from now on, suddenly I feel relieved from carrying this pain and anger, it was too heavy this burden for me. No longer I'll be mad at myself or feel guilty of my actions. It's my life, this is what I get, only one to live.

From now own I will be free; from now on I get to be me. I won't search for happiness any longer. 'Til now I didn't realize that all this time I had it in me. I just had to choose to live it, instead of seeking it, because NO ONE can really make you happy, but yourself. I just have to decide it. I just did. Back the fuck off and let me BE.